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 Application: Presdon

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Sebak
Theroshan
Theroshan


Posts : 14
Join date : 2008-04-28

Application: Presdon - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: sorry   Application: Presdon - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed May 07, 2008 10:45 pm

know its late but i do have many other things floating around so here it is with proberbly more spelling mistakes than words
*DRUM ROLL* THE NEW BACKSTORY
He was a simple boy never had many adventures. But then he met a man who could do wonderful amazing magic. How wonderful he was with his magic and sebak begged him to take me with him. He agreed but sebak had to leave my family behind, seeking more power he abandoned my family without looking back. Over the course of 10 years he learnt the ways of magic and he became powerful. but they the magician died and i had lost all hope. i realised i had left my family for nothing so he went in search of his family only to realize they had left after many wars had gone through my fair village. He is alone. searching for what was once lost. Maybe the hose of the new dawn can be his family.
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Ravil
Balah
Balah
Ravil

Posts : 481
Join date : 2008-01-08
Location : England

Character sheet
Name: Ravil Burly
Race: Cimmerian
Clan: Dyma

Application: Presdon - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Application: Presdon   Application: Presdon - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed May 07, 2008 10:49 pm

Ahh, at last Smile .. a little brief, but better than the Application: Presdon - Page 2 Lecter0103 that was there before.
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Rashad
Dathanar
Dathanar
Rashad

Posts : 738
Join date : 2007-12-28
Age : 31

Character sheet
Name: Rashad Mahdi
Race: Stygian
Clan: Balance

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PostSubject: Re: Application: Presdon   Application: Presdon - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed May 07, 2008 10:56 pm

It's definetly better but I can't really understand most of it since it's written so poorly :/

Is it two people or what? I can't get the pronoun.
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Varon kaldeer
Balah
Balah
Varon kaldeer

Posts : 144
Join date : 2008-01-01
Age : 29
Location : England

Character sheet
Name: Dorini Varon Kaldeer of War
Race: Cimmerian
Clan: Balance

Application: Presdon - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Application: Presdon   Application: Presdon - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed May 07, 2008 11:03 pm

Sebak wrote:

He agreed but sebak had to leave my family behind, seeking more power he abandoned my family without looking back.

Should they not be His?
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Rashad
Dathanar
Dathanar
Rashad

Posts : 738
Join date : 2007-12-28
Age : 31

Character sheet
Name: Rashad Mahdi
Race: Stygian
Clan: Balance

Application: Presdon - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Application: Presdon   Application: Presdon - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed May 07, 2008 11:05 pm

That'd be my guess, but can't really be sure.
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Ravil
Balah
Balah
Ravil

Posts : 481
Join date : 2008-01-08
Location : England

Character sheet
Name: Ravil Burly
Race: Cimmerian
Clan: Dyma

Application: Presdon - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Application: Presdon   Application: Presdon - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed May 07, 2008 11:08 pm

I have re-written his background story for him, (Did say I could) for the guild wiki characters page ect..

Quote :
Sebak…A simple boy, nothing amazing would ever happen to him, no adventures, no tales to tell to his grandchildren…that was, until the day the man came to the village.
Like Sebak, the village, which he lived in, was also quiet, where nothing extraordinary happened.
The man was amazing, spells and curses, which Sebak couldn’t have even dreamed of, he was interested from the moment the man, conjured the finest spell. Sebak begged the man to take him with him on his travels, eventually the man agreed, leaving his home and family behind, they set of in search of adventure.
Over the next 10 years, Sebak learnt new and exciting spells, all was well…until one day, the man who had taught him so much, collapsed down dead, no spell could bring him back.
With no family and no home, Sebak went in search of a new place to call home, weeks…months past and he finally came across the great city of Kathia…there the story of Sebak would continue….

+ Please add Sebak to the Dyma group, thanks.
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Rashad
Dathanar
Dathanar
Rashad

Posts : 738
Join date : 2007-12-28
Age : 31

Character sheet
Name: Rashad Mahdi
Race: Stygian
Clan: Balance

Application: Presdon - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Application: Presdon   Application: Presdon - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed May 07, 2008 11:10 pm

Alright.
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Varon kaldeer
Balah
Balah
Varon kaldeer

Posts : 144
Join date : 2008-01-01
Age : 29
Location : England

Character sheet
Name: Dorini Varon Kaldeer of War
Race: Cimmerian
Clan: Balance

Application: Presdon - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Application: Presdon   Application: Presdon - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed May 07, 2008 11:13 pm

Ravil the magical man! Sounds better now
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Lapis
Dorini of Lore
Dorini of Lore
Lapis

Posts : 195
Join date : 2008-04-06
Age : 50
Location : Sweden

Character sheet
Name: Lapis Nithotep
Race: Stygian
Clan: Lore

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PostSubject: Re: Application: Presdon   Application: Presdon - Page 2 Icon_minitimeThu May 08, 2008 12:04 am

go with the intelligentia!
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Alberich
Theroshan
Theroshan
Alberich

Posts : 207
Join date : 2008-04-21
Age : 28
Location : Kent, England

Character sheet
Name: Alberich
Race: Aesir
Clan: Nature

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PostSubject: Re: Application: Presdon   Application: Presdon - Page 2 Icon_minitimeThu May 08, 2008 2:05 pm

Aye, much better than "Preston".

I can see this "Sebak" fitting nicely into the House of the New Dawn. Also, perhaps you should work on your English language skills, your grammar isn't brilliant. Smile
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Sebak
Theroshan
Theroshan


Posts : 14
Join date : 2008-04-28

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PostSubject: sorry   Application: Presdon - Page 2 Icon_minitimeFri May 09, 2008 2:55 pm

me english real good :p

Just kidding there was like 17 freaking changes to the backstory.... it was orignally first person then 3rd person and then they were different and then bla bla bla. Thankyou for ravil for fixing this giant mess.
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Anari
Theroshan
Theroshan
Anari

Posts : 133
Join date : 2008-01-09
Location : England

Character sheet
Name: Haseo
Race: Stygian
Clan: Damak

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PostSubject: Re: Application: Presdon   Application: Presdon - Page 2 Icon_minitimeFri May 09, 2008 11:49 pm

is Ravil Going to have to Write for you everytime you want to roleplay?

You are aware that this is a roleplaying Guild, and mayb you shouldn't be in here if you Suck at roleplaying

Haseo Out
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Alberich
Theroshan
Theroshan
Alberich

Posts : 207
Join date : 2008-04-21
Age : 28
Location : Kent, England

Character sheet
Name: Alberich
Race: Aesir
Clan: Nature

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PostSubject: Re: Application: Presdon   Application: Presdon - Page 2 Icon_minitimeSat May 10, 2008 12:07 am

Quote :
is Ravil Going to have to Write for you everytime you want to roleplay?

You are aware that this is a roleplaying Guild, and mayb you shouldn't be in here if you Suck at roleplaying

Haseo Out
Harsh words considering you haven't seen/heard/read him roleplaying.

On the flip side... Arrow

Sebak, your posts are very casual. It's like your typing on MSN. I don't mind it but it makes your posts and their content seem a bit incoherent and substandard.
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Lapis
Dorini of Lore
Dorini of Lore
Lapis

Posts : 195
Join date : 2008-04-06
Age : 50
Location : Sweden

Character sheet
Name: Lapis Nithotep
Race: Stygian
Clan: Lore

Application: Presdon - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Application: Presdon   Application: Presdon - Page 2 Icon_minitimeSat May 10, 2008 1:52 am

I agree. I am happy you are with us, but you must understand that at least I interpret your MSN-english as not very serious.

I mean - if you desire to join - why write an application that's really badly written, and then continue with the same bad English even after several people have asked you to shape up and put some efforts into your postings? This guild and site is partly about making a great story together, and everyone joining ought contribute.
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Rashad
Dathanar
Dathanar
Rashad

Posts : 738
Join date : 2007-12-28
Age : 31

Character sheet
Name: Rashad Mahdi
Race: Stygian
Clan: Balance

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PostSubject: Re: Application: Presdon   Application: Presdon - Page 2 Icon_minitimeSat May 10, 2008 12:47 pm

Well just because your english sucks dosen't really mean you're not a good roleplayer. Some people just aren't good with languages. Not to take anyones side, just my opinion.
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Sebak
Theroshan
Theroshan


Posts : 14
Join date : 2008-04-28

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PostSubject: Re: Application: Presdon   Application: Presdon - Page 2 Icon_minitimeMon May 12, 2008 6:12 pm

no longer needed cat cat cat cat cat
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PostSubject: Re: Application: Presdon   Application: Presdon - Page 2 Icon_minitime

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